I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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