You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
