What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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