I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
