just come out here and I will go home with you...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
