Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
