her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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