You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
