Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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