I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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