Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
