I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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