The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
