I hate all girls vehemently.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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