I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
