Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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