I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
