My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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