He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.