Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine