You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine