Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
