Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
