at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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