I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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