Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
