new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
