i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
