Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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