so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
please don't ironically join a cult
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