Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The uberlube is also flammable
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
