he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
