im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
