I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
