...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize