I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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