You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
