tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
