found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.