apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
