Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
