Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
