ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize