after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
