hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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