I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I puked a lego.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
