I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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