whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
