drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
