we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
