I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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