This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
