According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
