Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
