You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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