Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
