I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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