She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize