the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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