Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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