I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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