If that was your dad, he is hot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
