If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
